"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's." – Mark Twain, Letter to W D Howells, 4/2/1899


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My mistress drives a Porsche.

For all those uneducated dogs out there, that’s a car — a very fast car.

She takes me with her, and the wind makes my ears fly back, and flap and sometimes I get a bug up my nose. She bought me a pair of ‘Doggles’ but I refused to wear them, so now I just close my eyes.

The best bit is that all those delicious smells come at me really fast.

Other humans like to talk to my mistress about her car.

“Is that a 356 or a 356s,” they say.

“It’s an ‘s’,” she replies.

If she doesn’t like the person who asks, she says to me, “Speak,” and I growl — they usually go away. I like being able to help.

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