The best thing about small humans — sticky fingers.
Sure, they are likely to poke you in the eye or pull on an ear, but it is a small price to pay.
Little humans think it’s funny. The big humans try to stop them, “Don’t let that dog lick your hand, it’s dirty.”
The cheek! My tongue is very clean and I am performing a service because little humans with sticky fingers get yelled at, “Why is this child allowed to wander around with sticky hands?” A good question and I have the solution — let me lick them.
I’m here to help — they just don’t seem to understand.
Rebeca felt that it was her duty.
She believed that she was teaching the animals morals. I know that sounds a little strange but if you knew Rebeca you would know that she always had her own way. I don’t know where she got the idea from, and frankly I don’t much care, all I know is that at 4pm every day, except Sunday, she would dress up in her most morally correct dress and read stories to the animals. I say animals, but mostly it was dogs with a few birds, a squirrel, and for some unknown reason, a crocodile. The whole thing is incredibly bizarre, and just a little bit concerning.
Rebeca has the most beautiful red hair, but frankly, that is no excuse.
She does have an excellent speaking voice, but that is still no excuse.